2010年11月1日月曜日

久しぶりの太陽光

すごい西日!と言われ、ベランダへ☆

久々に見る輝く太陽がそこにありました。
台風が去っても、台風一過というわけにはいかないぐずついた天気でしたが、午後から幾分よい天気になりました!

嘘臭いことばかりの世の中ですが、空を見上げれば清々しいですね☆

リアルをしっかり受け止め味わいたいものです。天を見上げて「明日天気にな〜れ」と祈るほどナイーブでもなくなり、すっかり汚れちまった俺ですけど、こんな空を見せたかったな。
昨日夕方5時1分前、西荻窪の駅で飛び込みがありました。
すっかり慣れっこになってしまったかのような飛び込みですが、慣れるはずがないんだ。今朝の新聞にも載ってない事故ですが、あの人には今日という日がなく、この太陽の光を見ることは永遠にないのだと痛切に思う。

久しぶりに見た太陽光の向こうに「死ぬな!!」と俺は叫んだぜ!
この世で何人逝こうが人数じゃないんだぜ。
一人でも無駄に逝くなよ!と俺は馬鹿のように心の中で叫ぶ。

あっという間に太陽は沈んだ。
それでも光に晒されて俺は心の光合成ができたと思う。

明日、また光を見よう!!
一人の愚か者として、一日を味わおう。
俺はそう決めた。


☆上野火山☆

5 件のコメント:

匿名 さんのコメント...

would you tell me what is your goal of your life or what is your policy? i think we all do anything based on the ideas in he or she minds.
i mean..."why did you dicided to enter this school?"
"Yea, just i wanted to study law"
"so,why did you think so?"
"it makes people happy"
"and why did you think the law makes people happy?"
"just i thought"

like this if we got a question "why", we cannot reply any more at a point. thats a strength all we have. its a base in mind.

could you give me some advices in the future?

Kazan さんのコメント...

Thank you for your comment!

All I can say is supposed to be this: we’ve got to enjoy our lives more than we think or we are made to think by someone elses.
For the sake of that, we must realize our own stupidity above all.
And also through such a stupidity we can be kind and honest to other people, don’t you think?
We are all stupid but realizing our own stupidity makes us true human-beings!

I don’t know the final goal of my life, though I suppose only through my own stupidity I can find out another value of our lives except money, fame, and so on. That is fun.

Now we all human-beings are living in a monochrome world where economy and finance seem to be a sort of God.
That is a current tendency. But that’s all wrong!
Stock markets don’t make us happy, right?
Making something or creating something will make us happier than ever. Because there is a pleasure in it and a pleasure makes us live our own lives!

So I want to live my life and enjoy my life with and through my stupidity. Because only stupidity can let me touch real aspects of this world and freshness of the moments we are living in.
We are all children and students in this world, aren’t we?

Kazan さんのコメント...

P.S.

>could you give me some advices in the future?

Sure I will! My pleasure!

匿名 さんのコメント...

sorry Ive been busy for this week.

Oh stupidity...
its practically not so easy for me to realise.
you mean, for example, all we are alone but not necessarily lonely.

i agree for that Making something or creating something will make us happier than ever.

but i can not finf out concretely what should i do or i want to do.

i would be...

Kazan さんのコメント...

Hi! Good morning!

Life seems to be a sort of Process. So we are all struggling to find out the meaning of our own life in the process of lives.

But all we can do at this moment is confined to something small, tiny and temporal. That’s our real life we have to live.

In the process of struggling to do something, I think we can find what to do now.
Because we are all stupid and innocent, and we are all getting wise a little step by step, day by day.

If you don’t know what to do now, then you should do what you have to do now. What you have to do is the way you have to choose in your life, isn’t it?
All we should do now might be what we want to do. That may be your present job or your hobby, I don’t know.
Anyway jobs are only jobs, tasks are only tasks, but once we regard our tasks as our hope, not duty, then it might be possible to find out another step and another hope.
At the end of our life we may call that our goal.

That’s all I can give you now for advice.
I myself am still struggling to make my own life better, because I’m in the process of my life as well.
That’s why we are not lonely☆

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